Friday, September 5, 2014

Let the Journey Begin

For all of you who followed me thru my last adventure with the seniors, be prepared, here we go again. The last tour was appropriately named The Fossil Expedition(if you wish to reminisce again you can follow the saga here)

So how did I get roped into another trip with the fossils? I have no idea what really transpired, someone mentioned to Dear Mom where would she love to go if she could…. “Malta”  she says….then Dear Uncle chimes in.. “I’ve always wanted to go there too, that sounds like a fabulous trip”… next thing the two of them are looking at me with cataract laden puppy dog eyes and I’m booked on a flight to London.

I tried to bow out gracefully, but Dear Mom played the Ace card and says…. “this will be my last trip”.  I’m pretty sure she said that the last time too.  AND  I’m pretty sure I made that same statement  when I arrived home from the last trip as well!

You would never be able to duplicate the Fossil Expedition so this trip is entitled……appropriately….The Ancient Relic Tour.

If you haven’t caught on or don’t know me personally, then I should bring you up to date. Dear Mom is 88 and Dear Uncle, her brother just turned 79. Like I have said before…God help me.  That last trip was 2 years ago, and while Dear Mom is doing quite well for her age. I have noticed subtle changes in her health.

She has had these bulging varicose veins on her legs and for weeks now I’ve been urging her to wear her support stockings  to get her re accustomed to them prior to the flight and trip. But she says it’s been much to hot….we live in Ontario and this summer has had record breaking lows…..Hot no…stubborn yes.

I’m sure you know what’s coming…and we haven’t even left on the trip yet….

So last week she’s in Wal-Mart getting pictures printed and somehow a plaqued picture falls off the wall in front of the counter where she is standing and nicks a vein causing a  Niagara Falls effect in living color to spill over the floor…. sending the Store Manager and Health and Safety people scrambling to the scene. There was so much blood they were asking if she was on blood thinners and does she want to go to the hospital. They get her patched up and as usual she takes this calamity in her stride. She calls to describe the fiasco to me and with great excitement states that they gave her the pictures for free, all $28.00 worth….Dear Mom, Dear sweet Mom…..they only  did that so you wouldn’t sue their asses…..they should have given you free pics for LIFE!

A visit, on my insistence, to the doctor last week, gives her a clean bill of health, nick on the leg and all…..and guess what….doctor says she should be wearing her support stockings….go figure.**_*(!+(!*_*_!#*

Now I know you think I’m kidding…but the whole trip will be like this…day in and day out, one calamity after another…and times two, cause they work as a pair….no matter how hard I try to skirt disaster. For instance…not only last week did Great Britain raise the terror alert to it’s highest level in 3 years, with attacks imminent…. but the Iceland Volcano just started spewing more shit than the winner of the Arkansas Annual Refried  Bean Eating Competition.

My worst fear is that they will close the airspace over Britain due to the volcanic ash again and I will be stuck with them an additional 2 weeks in the UK…AFTER the holiday. 

So they like to have fun and I thought it would be great to make up shirts for them for the trip…which really  brings me to the reason for the post…to demo how to print shirts using your computer.

I started with white T’s from Michaels…tea died them to give them an antique kind of look. Then I chose an older looking font for the lettering, downloaded a clipart and reversed the image before printing onto the shiny side of pre-cut freezer paper.


Quickly, before the ink had time to dry I flipped the image onto the front of the T-shirt and pressed with a hot iron….voila….a vintage looking image…..


Don ’t you just love the clipart of the two seniors shuffling along…..I made one for all of us…..When I was telling my daughter about the shirts, she made a great suggestion….she said I should have bought florescent shirts so I would be able to locate them easier….what a great idea….this from the mother of a 4 and 2 year old.

That actually would have worked this week…I take her out shopping to pick up a few last minute things for the trip and I’m specifically looking for earplugs….I’m ok with kicking Dear Hubby if  he snores, but not Dear Mom….I want to be totally prepared.

I locate them at the store, Dear Mom by my side….I’m looking at the choices….I swear no longer than 15 seconds….I look around and she’s GONE. I spent the next 1/2 hour searching the aisles….she literally just vanished….like freckin Houdini. God help me.

My brother, bless his heart, knows Dear Mom and Dear Uncle, almost as well as I do and calls to thank me for taking one for the team wish me a safe flight…I missed the call and had to call back, explaining that I was getting my hair done before the trip….he asks why… “so I can look all spiffy”….again, he asks why…I repeat…”to look spiffy for the holiday”… in all sincerity he says why would you bother….you're going to pull it all out anyway.

So I’m off… rocker …on an overnight flight with Dear Mom to the UK, meeting up with Dear Uncle there and then off to Malta….Let the games journey begin.

No comments:

Post a Comment