Detoxifying

In St.Lucia…..Dear Hubby and I decided at the last minute to join our daughter, her hubby and our grandsons in St Lucia for a bit of R&R. We didn’t let them know we were coming, just surprised them at the airport….awesome!

We have been having a blast the last 5 days and today Dear Hubby and I both had spa treatments at Kai Mer Spa. I opted for the Detox Mud Wrap and Dear Hubby had his first pedicure…ever.

 

So I am laying there,on my back wrapped up like a mummy, hands at my sides, one layer of plastic wrap, one layer of tarp, one layer of towelling and another layer of plastic…all after being lathered with mud infused with lavender… she says it will get warm as the mud starts to work with my body heat …..the spa therapist asked me if I get Closter phobic and of course I say no…I’m in a large room, laying on a table on my back , the sea crashing against the rocks just outside the open windows, what’s to be Closter phobic, it’s not like I’m in a closet? The therapist tells me to relax and I receive a head massage…..I’m in heaven….she covers my eyes with what feels like cucumbers…I can hear the ocean, the room is still and quiet…I think I can hear her still in the room?… but I can’t see cause of the cucumber salad…..I try to relax, I remember she says it will be about 2o minutes…*_)*_&_&_.Shit….my nose starts to itch, I feel like I’m gonna sneeze. It passes…then I feel like I have to fart…..I can’t…what if she is still in the room?…it passes. Then my chest starts to tighten….OMG…please tell me I don’t have an allergy to this mud crap….it passes….my breathing seems laboured, I feel like I’m starting to have trouble breathing….I try to stay calm…listen to the ocean, listen to the ocean….stay calm….I don’t want to freak out, it’s just a detox mud wrap, surely people have these every day…I can feel my body getting hotter, surely I’m cooked by now…..then like the touch of an angel…I feel her start to peel back the layers of mummification. Detox, my ass, I need a drink!

Dear Hubby faired better…a pedicure…I asked the girl if they had a belt sander…she just looked at me oddly. Even odder when I told her I’d like to pick out his colors. He had to have something that matched his Montreal Canadians swimsuit….He would only agree to the color if I assured him I had polish remover at home, so that he could get it off before he goes to hockey on Monday.

He said that he would never live this down at home…I said a true man is in touch with his feminine side….he gave me that look and said…I DON’T HAVE A FEMINE SIDE!…I NEED A BEER….